I’m too scared, too scared for the future, for the unknown.
Every aspect of my life is so unstable right now, but when and who’s life ever is!
I try my best to make every day the greatest but how do I know if it is the greatest when there is no standard, the known, to compare it to.
Sometimes I find great comfort and entertainment in not knowing. Anonymous phone calls, secret admirer, secrecy. But only in rare occasions these situations seem to happen in my life compared to others. The social norms have accepted that those are the key element in being in the centre of attention. And just this once, I think I will have to agree with the stereotypes.
Back to uncertainty and awkwardness. The word ambiguous is so uncertain. It’s like a word that was meant to mean something else but somehow ended up and stuck with the meaning of uncertainty. Maybe because it is uncertain, not guided itself.
Tonight, as the conventional way of saying it, my day has ended, but it’s just the beginning of the another uncertainty.
There is no positive or negative way to look at it. Just be whoever the fuck you want to be and that is your one and only certainty that will keep you going.